Back to Greendale
by MBlacktalon
Summary: The Save Greendale Committee return to Greendale a few members short, and with some revelations rattling around inside their heads. My first fic, and a shot at a season 6 opener, using lines from a few of the gifs Yahoo! gave us last Tuesday as prompts.


_A/N: My first fic. A short little episode-ish story set at the very start of Season 6, based on a few of the .gifs Yahoo! gave us last Tuesday. I was going to introduce Elroy as well, but I had no ideas whatsoever for what his character might be like. I hope I did a decent job on Frankie. Anyway, hope you enjoy :)_

_Edit: I'm kind of caught up in the season 6 hype train at the moment, so I don't think I'll be continuing this until after we're done. I'm about half way through a second chapter and I keep getting distracted. Oh, I added a tag to the end of this first chapter - I felt like it needed one._

* * *

"Welcome back to yet another semester here at Greendale! This is your Dean, wishing you a fantastic first day!"

The PA blared over the general buzz of movement typical of the start of a new semester. Greendale was always busiest for the first week or so, before three quarters of the new students had dropped out, and the older students had worked out which classes they could skip safely.

"If you're looking to sign up for some new classes, head over to the quad and visit the faculty displays, which _should have been set up by now. _Ahem."

The quad was decidedly empty of faculty displays, but that hadn't deterred Starburns from trying to sell his wares to unassuming freshmen, or Leonard from using the high concentration of women to his advantage.

"New semesters are a time for old friends and new acquaintances. So while you're meeting the new students, remember that the close bonds you've formed over the past, say, five years, are the ones that matter most!"

The four remaining members of the study group were sitting at the table, smiling at each other awkwardly and eyeing the ever increasing number of empty seats.

Abed was the first to break the silence. "You can deny it all you want, but the group is dying."

Annie sighed. "Abed, we talked about this. Just because Shirley had to leave, and Duncan and Hickey are staying in England for the foreseeable future doesn't mean that we can't get back to normal."

"But what's normal? We've lost almost half of the table. I've run the scenarios - we don't have the numbers to sustain the group dynamic, not with four people."

"Hey guys…" Their heads snapped around as a familiar voice sounded from just outside the door.

"Not another step." Jeff stated forcefully, pointing his finger at the small Asian man. "You are not getting back in here."

"What!? You guys said you were going to be more accepting!" Chang screeched.

"That was before you sold us out to Subway the first chance you got, you jag." Britta responded.

Annie slumped a little. "That _was_ pretty low, even for you Ben."

"Didn't you replace your teeth with diamonds?" Abed asked, head tilted thoughtfully.

"It turns out the money for those didn't actually belong to me, and the school board had them repossessed." Chang explained. "Thankfully, I kept my old teeth in jars next to my bed,"

The group shuddered collectively.

"So now I've got a bunch of metal screws in my skull holding them back in place, and as much legal weed as I want to numb the pain."

"Wait, as much as you want?"

"Not the time Britta."

"And I promise I won't betray you guys again. I've started seeing a therapist." He finished, a pleading look in his eyes.

The group looked to Jeff. Annie mouthed, "He's so sad!" and Abed squinted thoughtfully as Jeff gave her a quick smile and turned back to Chang.

"Okay Chang. You can stay, on a trial basis. One slip up, and before you can say 'Bear down for Midterms' you'll be back on the other side of that door, permanently."

Chang beamed, and ran over to claim his spot in Troy's old seat.

"Well," Abed began, "that makes five. It's better than four, but it's still gonna be tough to maintain separate A and B plots with these numbers.

Jeff folded his arms. "Look Abed, I know you're worried. It's going to be a little different this year. But it's been different every year, and we've lasted this long." He gave a quick smirk. "There's no cause for alarm."

"Hi!"

"Of course." Jeff muttered as the Dean walked through the doors.

"Just dropping by to welcome you all back to Greendale," the Dean said, reaching down to touch Jeff lightly on the chest. "And to bring some news. I know the Save Greendale Committee _technically _disbanded after last year, but there's one more teensy-weensy job for you."

Everyone let out a long groan, except for Annie.

"We'd be happy to help. What do you need Dean?"

"Well…" he started awkwardly, "It turns out that the school board has complete control over Borchert's money. They've said that unless Greendale can meet certain 'national averages' in its curriculums, they'll be sending the money to City College."

Jeff raised a sarcastic eyebrow. "So you want us to, what? Make Greendale smarter? Because the only way I can see us meeting any national averages is if we remove the stupidest half of our student body."

"To an extent, yes," the Dean continued, "but you won't be doing it alone. I've hired an independent consultant to help you whip this place into shape. Francesca?" He called out into the hall.

A dark haired woman in her late 30's came bustling through the door, carrying a laptop, a bag, and an assortment of folders. She headed straight for the empty spot between Jeff and Annie, setting everything down on top of the table.

"Hi. Yes. Francesca Dart, at your service. If we can get straight to business?"

"Uhh, sure?" Britta's response was quite a bit less than sure.

"Great. If you'll excuse us Dean Pelton?"

"Oh, yes. Well, you kids have fun, alright?"

The group glanced around at each other as Frankie began setting up a rather elaborate workstation.

"So, Francesca…" Jeff started.

"If we can skip the pleasantries, that'd be great. So. To start with, I'll need you to tell me everything about your time here at Greendale."

The group smirked knowingly.

* * *

Frankie sat at a small table outside the library eating her lunch from a brown paper bag. She had never been okay with eating cafeteria food - too many chances for cross-contamination. Even getting a bag of chips had been a stretch.

"Discuss with Dean: Ethics of close student/teacher friendships. Concerns: Mentally unstable Asian man, possibility of relapse? General uneasy feeling."

She paused to look around at the nearby buildings. They were certainly clean enough to look at, as the committee had said, but something still felt strange about Greendale.

"Research: Pierce, Hologram, Spectrum Disorders, Schizophrenia, Let's potato chips – are they supposed to be like Lays?"

She switched off the recording, and put the phone back into her pocket. This place was definitely weirder than most, but it was nothing she hadn't dealt with before... she hoped. It didn't matter anyway – she had nowhere else to be, and the pay was by the hour. Jumping from school to school across the country didn't do wonders for your personal life, but it sure paid the bills.

Frankie stood and gathered her things, heading to the Dean's office. The discussion with the committee had raised more questions than it had answered, and she was going to need to conduct some extensive interviews.

She heard a cupboard door slam shut loudly when she knocked, before, "Uhh, come in!"

"Dean Pelton." She did a double take. "Are you wearing women's medieval armor?"

"Just trying out some new looks. You never know when you might need to share news about 'knight' time break-ins on campus. Anyway, what can I do for you Francesca?"

She shook her head to clear her thoughts, and added a reminder to add 'cross-dressing dean' to her research list. "I was actually hoping for a few hours of your time. I've got a lot of questions, and I need someone who knows this school well enough to answer them."

"Well, I'm glad you're here to help us out, but as Dean I'm _far _too busy for a lengthy interview. Maybe someone on the committee can help you out, did you try asking them?"

Frankie grimaced. She had hoped that she wouldn't have to spend too much more time with those people. She'd learned enough in their discussions to know that they weren't her kind of personalities. "Well, who would you recommend?"

"You can't go wrong with Jeffery – that's the tall, dark and handsome one with the collared shirt. He's really the default leader for those guys, and for Greendale in general a lot of the time. Oh, and maybe Annie too. She's the most organized."

"The blonde?"

"No, the brunette who was to your left. She basically ran the committee last year."

"Huh." She had assumed the older woman was the more organized one. She hadn't really been paying attention to who was saying what during the interview.

"If that's all…" The Dean said awkwardly, and Frankie realized she had zoned out a little.

"Oh, yes. Thanks again. I'll get back to you when I have results."

As she closed the door behind her, the faint voice of the Dean followed her out. "Thank god she left. The chaffing on these chainmail pants is atrocious!"

* * *

Britta put on her best customer service smile as the angry woman in the leather jacket handed over a burnt, lopsided pie.

"I used to order a pie here once a week, and they were delicious! This is horrible!"

"Look, I'm kind of new to this…" Britta started.

"Yeah, well maybe you should start being kind of done with this. Your baking is bad!"

"Don't think of it as bad baking, think of it as a crushing blow to a gender stereotype." She put on her biggest smile and held the plate out to the woman, but it didn't help. Her face fell as the woman turned and walked away.

Shirley's departure had been unexpected to say the least. Her father had been in some kind of accident, and needed someone to take care of him for a few months while he recovered. Which had meant moving to Chicago. Shirley had been reluctant to leave her business unattended, so Britta had volunteered to take over. She'd fought too hard for Shirley's right to push forward as an independent woman to let that dream fall apart because of a man.

The only problem was, Britta had no idea how to manage a business. Or bake pies. Or cook anything in general.

She was pulled from her trip down memory lane by the sight of Abed and Chang wandering into the cafeteria.

"Hey Britta."

She tried to put her smiley face back on. "Oh, hey there Abed! Chang. Were you… hoping to buy something?"

"Actually, we're here to help." Abed replied, Chang nodding along silently as he eyed the burnt pie.

"Help? Help with what? Everything's just fine here!" She said a little too quickly.

"Not if we can believe the woman retching into a trash can outside."

Britta crumbled. "I don't know how to do this! And Shirley left me in charge, and I have to keep her business going because she has nothing else to fall back on, and…"

Abed patted her on the shoulder a little awkwardly. "It's okay. I've got some experience from working at my dad's falafel stand,"

"And I've got 17 years of experience as unpaid labor in Momma-Chang's bakery, plus a year working for Shirley as Kevin."

"So we can help. Shirley had Pierce to help out, you don't have to do this alone."

"I guess," Britta sighed. "I just wish I could have done this for Shirley. _Without _the help of a bunch of guys."

Abed didn't know how to respond to that.

Chang did. Sort of. "Let me see your flour. I need a very specific blend if I'm going to pull off some of the recipes rattling around up here."

Britta took a deep breath. "Alright. Let's do it."

* * *

"So I get that he went to Greendale, but why does the school need a gold-plated statue of Luiz Guzman?"

Frankie kept up a fast pace as she walked, heels clacking on the stone pathway, with Jeff and Annie following closely behind.

"Uhh, I don't _actually _know. It was here before we enrolled." Annie shrugged.

"Tell me again how we got roped into this?" Jeff whispered into her ear.

"Jeff, be nice. We need her help if the school wants to get its funding this year."

He rolled his eyes, and turned his gaze back to the woman in front of them. She wasn't bad looking, but… Yeah. If she'd been around a few years ago, he'd have been all over that. He glanced sideways at Annie. Not anymore, especially after last year.

"Is it just me, or are all of the hallways here exactly the same?" Frankie wondered out loud, without slowing as they entered the south hall.

Annie rolled her eyes at Jeff. "I think someone would have noticed something like that after 5 years."

Jeff's eyes glazed over as they wandered the halls of Greendale, keeping step with Annie as she answered Francesca's questions intermittently. Feelings had never been his strong suit, and now that he knew he was in… that his feelings were a little stronger than he had been willing to admit, he had no idea what to do. He didn't know where he sat with Annie anymore. A few years ago he could have just asked her out, and she would have fallen into his arms without a second thought. That was why he couldn't have done it then. But he had no idea what she'd do now.

Jeff was broken from his trance by Annie's outstretched arm, stopping him from walking straight into Frankie.

"Room D-601. This is your class, correct Jeff?"

"Yep. Well, Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, eleven through one. I have a suspicion it's being used for biology dissections on Tuesdays."

Frankie wrote something quickly on her notepad, and then looked back up. "I'm going to need to sit in on a couple of your classes this week."

Jeff raised an eyebrow. "Uhh, any particular reason?"

"I'm here to improve the academic standing of the school. My interviews with you have raised some… well, some concerns. I'm going to need to test your ability to teach a class." She looked back down at her notebook, and began to turn away.

"Excuse me?"

She paused. "It's nothing personal, I'll be going through all the teachers eventually. It just makes sense to start with the less adequate ones – get it out of the way so to speak."

Jeff stared at her incredulously, and opened his mouth to launch a well-crafted Winger speech in response, when Annie stepped between them.

"Hey! You can't talk to Jeff like that." He assumed Annie had her formidable face on, because Frankie looked a little shocked. "You haven't even seen him teach a class, and you assume he's bad at it because of a few stories? He had a rocky start, sure, but Jeff enjoys teaching."

He opened his mouth to protest, but she kept going. "I went through an entire semester with him last year, and you know what? It wasn't a typical curriculum, but I learned a lot, and so did everyone else."

Frankie used the brief pause to butt in. "I guess I'll need to update my concerns about teacher/student friendships then. The ethics of this place are…"

"NO! That is not a card you can play here. Jeff graded my papers the same as everyone else's," Well, he had given her papers A's automatically, but he doubted the grades would have been any different if he had read through them. "And he never gave me any special treatment in class debates. So before you go throwing around your opinions, try doing some _actual _research, not whatever crap you call these interviews!" She finished, gesturing wildly.

Annie was breathing heavily, so Jeff stepped up and placed a calming hand on her shoulder.

"Wow…" Frankie started. "That was… you're not a very nice person, you know?"

Jeff opened his mouth to return the sentiment, but she was already off down the hallway. He let out a sigh.

"Well. I think we could both use a drink after that."

Annie nodded, still seething, and turned to follow Jeff in the opposite direction.

Neither of them heard the, "Dammit Frankie!", or the thud as she smacked her head against the wall.

* * *

Annie took a sip from her glass of scotch as she sat on the corner of Jeff's desk, her legs dangling just above the floor. With Hickey gone, Jeff had the whole place to himself, and he'd certainly made some improvements over last year. The walls had been repainted as part of the 'Remove visible signs of decay' goal last year, and there were pictures on the wall. There were still a lot of old boxes, but a mini fridge and the old desk from the newspaper office helped to round out the room.

"Can you believe her? No restraint at all, just 'you're a less than adequate teacher'."

"I know, it's like Pierce levels of insensitivity." Jeff replied, swirling his own scotch carefully. "Thanks, by the way. For, you know, sticking up for me back there." He gave her a warm smile.

She smiled back, and took another sip. Only, when she looked back, he was still smiling at her. Normally Jeff was the one to break _her_ gaze, not the other way around. Something had been up with him since that day in Borchert's lab last year. He was more smiley, more… affectionate. Which was weird, because affectionate was not a word that described Jeff Winger. At least not before.

But she would have to continue that thought later, as a sharp knock came from the door.

"Looks like your tour is going well." Britta smirked, following Abed into the room and reaching for a glass.

"She implied I was a bad teacher."

Annie grinned. "She implied I was a bitch."

Abed hopped up on the desk beside her. "So you left her?"

"She left us," Jeff scoffed. "And she didn't seem all that sorry about it."

"Hmm…" Abed mused. "I thought she might have had some potential. I'll talk to her."

"Umm, hello?" Britta interjected, waving to Abed. "Shirley's Sandwiches?"

"I think Chang's got you covered there. He seems to know a lot about baking." He replied.

Annie put her glass down as Britta continued to look dejected. "Wait, you've got _Chang _helping you?"

"Well… It turns out I don't actually know how to bake. And Chang does, so…" Britta shrugged. "But I was hoping you'd be a buffer Abed, I mean, Chang sort of hates me."

"Yes, he does." Abed replied. "But he can't do anything about it. Jeff said he had no warnings, so if he acts out, you can get him kicked off the committee."

"There doesn't even have to be a real reason," Jeff said, as he put the scotch back in his desk. "You can basically force him to do whatever you want."

Britta's eyes lit up at the thought. "Okay, maybe this won't be as bad as I thought. I've gotta get back there and lay down some ground rules." She ran out of the door.

"I should try to find Francesca." Abed stated. "There aren't that many fish in the sea, and we need to start refilling the table early to allow for development."

"Wait, who said anything about..?"

"Sorry, gotta go!" He yelled, running out the door after Britta.

Which left Annie alone with Jeff again. With smiley, affectionate Jeff. Which was weird. She needed more time to figure that out.

"So… "She pointed over her shoulder to the door. "I've got Intro to Crime Scene Analysis in ten minutes, I should probably get going…"

"I'll walk with you, I'm teaching over that way soon anyway." He offered his arm. "Milady?"

Annie's brain was working in overdrive now. They hadn't done _that _in years. But his eyes looked sincere, so she took his arm, smiling. "Milord."

She didn't notice him melting slightly at the exchange. That was something he'd keep to himself for now.

* * *

Britta found Chang hard at work at the oven behind the store. There were dozens of freshly baked loaves of bread on the shelf, and there appeared to be another batch cooking. Chang was working on piping a design onto a small pastry when she interrupted him.

"Okay Chang, you want to work here? We're going to have to set some rules."

Chang looked confused. "But… I'm just here to help you, right? Oh, am I going to get paid?"

She raised her chin, trying to look superior and boss-like. "You might, _if _you can do what you're told. One, there will be no Chang puns used while you are behind this counter."

"I actually haven't done that in…"

"Two! You will address me as 'Sir' at all times." She was loving this. She hadn't had a taste of power like this since her brief stint as the Mother of Ones last year. "Third and finally, if you fail to meet your daily quota, your privileges will be revoked."

Chang seemed to think it over for a second, before his face fell into a sneer. "Yeah, I don't think so. I'm not your man servant, and I'm not going back to unpaid labor. Good luck."

But Britta had expected some resistance – she was ready for this. "Not so fast, Chang. Take one more step, and I'll tell Jeff that you tried to bite my finger off. I wonder how long you'll be allowed to stay in the group after _that _little transgression…"

"But I didn't… How can…" His shoulders slumped. "So you're going to force me to work here if I want to stay in the group?"

"Pretty much, yeah." She smirked.

He turned back, and walked glumly back into the kitchen. Just before he reached the oven again, he turned back to her. "I will find a loophole. Then I'll kill you."

"Oh good luck with that." So maybe she didn't know how to run a business, or bake pies. But Britta knew how to boss people around. And wasn't that a gender victory anyway?

* * *

Abed found Frankie in a corner of the library, headphones in her ears and notebooks spread out across a table, writing out notes from an interview. He sat down opposite her.

"So. Issues with Jeff and Annie."

Her head jerked up, the cord of her headphones ripping them from her ears. She took a moment to collect herself before responding. "Abed, right?"

"Yep."

"What can I do for you?"

He paused, contemplating what to say. They needed more people to fill out the group for this year. Despite Annie's assertions, they weren't going to last with just four people. Francesca seemed like a decent candidate – better than Garrett at least.

"You need to apologize to Jeff and Annie."

She raised both eyebrows. "And why should I do that? I was honest, I spoke my mind. It's part of my job. It was the two of them that made it personal."

Abed sighed. "Because like it or not, you're stuck here now. For at least a year. You might think you can get out of this contract, but you can't. You're going to be spending a lot of time around us, maybe even with a spot at the table. And you can't do that if everyone hates you."

Frankie's hard stare broke. "They already hate me. I might as well just get the job done and move on to the next town. I haven't had friends in ten years."

"But you can change that. Everyone's pretty forgiving around here. Jeff attacked us with a fire axe. The Asian guy, Chang? He tried to murder us all a couple of years back. There's nothing you've done that you can't fix."

She seemed to think for a moment, nodding as she came to a decision. "How would I go about doing that?"

"Well, you can start by…"

And they cut away.

"Uhh, Abed?"

"Sorry. Old habits."

* * *

Jeff waited outside Annie's class after he was done teaching. As far as first lessons go, it had been pretty par for the course. He'd learned exactly zero names, outlined the barest of curriculums, and had the students read through the first few pages of the textbook. Sure, he'd enjoyed teaching last year, but most of that was just improvisation. He didn't plan it in advance. He just made the students read old cases until he thought of something interesting to discuss. And he was fine with that.

"Oh, hi Jeff!" Annie smiled brightly when she saw him. It was that smile that was making all of this so difficult.

"Hey! I just finished my lesson, so I thought I'd drop by and… How was class?" He fell into step next to her.

"Oh, you know. Alright for Greendale. Hickey was much better with this content than the new guy – I probably could have learned more watching an episode of CSI."

Jeff chuckled nervously. "So, uhh, you're done with classes for the day, right?"

She looked at him suspiciously. "Yes..? Are you okay Jeff?"

It shouldn't be that hard, and with anyone else it wouldn't be. But there were feelings involved now, and it was Annie, and…

"Jeff, Annie, there you are."

Dammit.

"I was hoping to catch you before you left campus."

Jeff and Annie turned to face a hesitant looking Frankie, arms straight by her sides and no notebooks in sight.

"Well, you've caught us." Annie replied icily.

"Yeah, umm…" Her eyes flicked back and forward, as if she were reading notes from an imaginary piece of paper. "So… I wanted to apologize for my comments earlier. I'm sure you're a great teacher Jeff, and you were really great to stand up for him, Annie."

Annie's glare softened a little.

"And… I was hoping you guys would be willing to answer some more questions. I'm not going to be able to get this job done by myself." She finished with a short nod.

Jeff glanced over at Annie. It was fairly obvious that the apology was memorized and rehearsed, but Annie seemed to be going for it. Francesca seemed to mean it too.

"Well, if it's okay with Annie, I guess that'd be fine." He shrugged non-committedly.

"I guess we can make time." Annie responded with a half-smile.

Jeff's discussion with Annie would have to wait.

* * *

Frankie walked into Greendale the next day feeling better than she had in a long time. The rest of the tour with Jeff and Annie had gone okay – well, even. They'd invited her to come along to a meeting of the committee, seeing as their purpose now revolved around helping her save the school.

She was approaching the library when Abed pulled her aside.

"You did well yesterday, but there's a few things you should know before you go in there."

"Good morning to you too."

"You're about to become a part of the group, and it's important you don't upset the balance."

Frankie sighed. "Okay, Abed. What do I need to know?"

He looked relieved. "Well, to start with, you're going to have to change where you sit. Between Jeff and Annie seemed like the logical choice before, and I'll admit, it makes some sense, since you're somewhere in between the two of them personality-wise, but I think we'll need to keep that space open this year."

"Any particular reason?" She replied cautiously.

"I'm sure you picked up on some tension between the two of them in your interviews." She had. "Previously they've both been keeping a tight lid on it, but something's different this year. I'm working on pinning down exactly what it is, but it could take a few weeks. Until that happens, you need to be clear of that storm. Oh, and don't make any moves on Jeff. It probably won't end well."

Frankie was a little taken aback. "Okay, first, I wasn't planning on it, and second, those two aren't dating? I'd just assumed…"

"Many have. Don't worry, it's a common mistake. So, in the meantime, you should sit in Pierce's old seat – next to Chang."

"The crazy one? Can't I sit on the other side of Annie?"

"Normally I'd say yes, but the group is still a little raw from losing Shirley, and besides, I've got my eye on a candidate to fill that seat. Trust me, I've run the scenarios. That's the best spot for you right now."

She wasn't a huge fan of the idea, but she probably didn't have many more chances with these people. Better to go along with it for now.

Abed was already half way to the study room door, so she turned and followed. Jeff, Annie, and Britta were chatting quietly as Abed sat down, with Chang noticeably missing.

"Where's Chang this morning?" Jeff asked.

"Working the oven." Britta smirked. "And he'll keep working it as long as he wants to be part of the committee."

"Britta, you can't abuse Chang's neediness to get yourself cheap labor. It's immoral."

"Annie, this is the guy that tried to kill us, and faked his own Changnesia. Immoral doesn't really apply to the guy."

"Britta, I'm not going to let you use my threat to exploit Chang all year." Jeff interjected. "Eventually you're going to have to stop this."

Frankie noticed the brief smiles that passed between Jeff and Annie. Abed was definitely right about something happening there.

Britta huffed, and Frankie took advantage of the pause to announce her presence.

"Hi everyone." She said, wandering over and taking her fairly lonely seat on the far side of the table.

"Morning Francesca!" Annie replied brightly. She'd seemed to respond well to the apology.

"How was your morning?" Britta asked.

And with that, the conversation fell to superficial, non-work-related topics. Frankie hadn't just _talked_ to anyone in ages, and it was a nice feeling. They didn't even get to her interview questions.

"Well, I've got another class in five minutes, so we should probably head out." Annie announced. "I hope your first meeting was a decent experience Francesca."

"Oh, umm… You can call me Frankie, all my friends… used to." Frankie finished awkwardly.

"Frankie then. Welcome to the Save Greendale Committee."

* * *

"Rachel and Abed in the Mooorrning!"

"And we're back. Unfortunately we're going to have to cut our current segment short."

"Yes, Mr. Borchert is late for a rendezvous with… Raquel… But thanks for coming in today."

Borchert smiled brightly at the pair. "It's been great to be here. You know, back in the 70's, we used to have huge cameras to film television shows, and now, they're completely invisible! Progress truly is amazing."

Rachel and Abed smiled in sync and nodded to the 'cameras'.

"We'll see you next week Professor."

"And now, we go live to temporary foreign correspondent Troy 'Butt Soup' Barnes, somewhere off the southern coast of Australia."

Abed held a phone up, showing Troy's face on a video call. _"Good morning viewers. Or good evening. I'm not sure. It's night here."_

Abed's eyes widened.

"Troy," Rachel whispered, leaning over to the speaker, "Ixnay on the imezone-tay."

_"Oh yeah, right. 6am here, early rising!"_

Abed seemed to relax. "So Troy, tell us about your latest escapades."

The image of Troy tilted heavily to the right. _"Well, we were supposed to be in port today, but this storm has us a little off course. Burt's handling it though. Other than that… not a lot since we last spoke 5 hours ago."_

"True, true. Any encounters with mysterious creatures of the depths?"

"Giant whales?"

"Inter-dimensional Kaiju?"

_"No. I thought I saw a penguin earlier, but turns out, it was just a plastic bottle."_

"Oh, that's too bad. Before we let you go Troy, one final question. Is that amount of water _inside_ the boat considered normal?"

Troy looked down at the four inches of water sloshing around his shoes, squinting. _"You know what, I'm not entirely sure. Gimmie a sec…" _His head disappeared out of the cabin door, returning a few seconds later with a fake smile plastered on his face. _"Well, according to LeVar, this is not normal - at all. I'm going to have to let you guys go." _The call cut out.

"Well there you have it folks."

"Until next time, this has been…"

"Rachel and Abed in the Mooorrning!"


End file.
